I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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