we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
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It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
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Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I did not marry a roomba.
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