My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
