No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You need Xanax blowdarts
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
