I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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