Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
