we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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