I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
