Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
