she woke up with a sticky ear
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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