No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...