I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
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He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is