This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.