I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
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he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.