Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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