If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
