Yo dont text me then not text me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
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You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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