I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
