I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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