I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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