Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize