CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
