Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
