If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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