Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
