I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
