all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
