So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
