so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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