my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
