I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
