Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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