i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
