Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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