When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
