scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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