He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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