Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
