omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
time to smoke my breakfast
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
