I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize