pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
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Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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