If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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