Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
