found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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