he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
