Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
