; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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