considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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