You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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