I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
