Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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