I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
