I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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