I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
