This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
