dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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