Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
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Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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