Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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