8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
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Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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