Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
