I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
