this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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