Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
