So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
