He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
