you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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