Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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