therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have demons in me.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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